Long-distance relationships — advice of the psychologist, how to save them
a long-distance relationship – pros and cons
In every person’s life there are times when life is like a movie, but in real love there is a parody of Santa Barbara. The most classic option – when people fall in love and have relationships with those who are close, in the same city and maybe live in the same area.
But in modern society, it is increasingly common long-distance relationships.
The Internet – a place where you can find Dating that can turn into a romantic relationship. People communicate in social networks, you may come or come to each other from different corners of the globe.
Features long-distance relationship — pros and cons
On the one hand — it’s very romantic and exciting: the lovers see each other in the best light, remain faithful at a distance and be sure to carve out free time for dialogue with a partner.
But on the other hand it is difficult to call such relationships true and complete. Real relationships start with real communication when people know each other in everyday life, real life tests and physical interaction.
If meetings take place on “neutral” territory, for example, at the resort, do not hurry to draw conclusions about the person.
Maybe in real life, the choice is received very differently in different situations. After all, people tend to produce the effect of “Ah!” completely unfamiliar partners.
So lovers, who live nearby, often diverge, getting to know each other better.
In a long-distance relationship, this possibility may not necessarily be repeated. And once the lovers will come, all the rubbish will come out.
Thus, we can conclude that
the sooner the partners encountered at a distance, get to know each other, the better for them. After all, nobody wants to spend months and perhaps years on the wrong person.
Sometimes the opposite situation: the relations to the classical way, but later circumstances tore people apart. Of course, it could be a trip to work in a nonresident high school. But often it’s trial by army.
As practice shows, it are few, because the human mind is designed so that if you do not maintain constant contact with the partner, it gradually disappears from the heart. how to keep a long-distance relationship
How to maintain distance relationships — advice psychologist
Basically, keep a gentle distance relationship is a snap. Especially if there is still a glimmer of hope in terms of a long-awaited meeting.
After all, if you want modern appliances at any time to contact the person to know how he’s doing and even see…
Without haptic sensation, however, very difficult to hold partners, but if their love is strong in mental terms, they will overcome distance, even in different parts of the world.
To keep a long-distance relationship, will have to “invest”. And to invest, to give more than if you were geographically together.
If the usual reconciliation after a quarrel the two lovers sometimes quite light touch, kiss, shake hands, then being in different cities, you can rely on means of communication — to hear the voice, to see a blurry image in Skype.
Therefore we put the partner at a distance attention must multiply 2 times — twice more compliments, tender words and confessions 2 times more surprises.
Lovers can come together and “walk to shopping”, to watch movies, to fall down and sleep at the same time.
Is from time to time to review common past — videos, photos, memorable things, even dream about your joint actions. But, this does not mean that we should sit at the window and yearn, letting a tear, in contrast, engage in interesting creative activities, to the time of separation has flown by faster.
To heart has not forgotten about his favorite person, you need to create the illusion of his presence is not a certain time. Of course, this will facilitate separation, but still, try to see each other as often as possible. Let it be brief encounters, to feel a loved one close is the best feeling out of all available, no need to torture each other for years.
Try apart not to quarrel, the format of communication is not conducive to rapid reconciliation and, unfortunately, contributes to the misunderstanding. This means that a minor altercation could be the last.
It is important that the meeting was still in the foreseeable future when man is no hope, as frustration, disappointment may prevail. How, then, to give love and care, then a pit in my stomach…
Relations, whatever they were, from a distance, or without such an extreme, always supportive of the two, “a one-sided game” can’t be long.
The human brain is designed so that over time, feelings for the man, which for a long time there, are dissolved, and, ultimately, can not come to naught. This same mechanism will occur from the partner.
Therefore, at the meeting need to be prepared for any circumstances, because no one knows what will feel the partners, being next after a long separation, it can be unbearable tenderness, and… nothing.
In fairness, I must say that long distance relationships there are some advantages. However, as they say, an Amateur…
No need to think about where to go, what to do in the evenings how to dress.
No need to change for the sake of man, to compromise and to change habits.
Full advantage, of course, is hardly mentioned.
Rather, it is an attempt to avoid responsibility and real challenges.
A very big danger that getting used to the virtual relations, to cross the line of reality will be extremely difficult test. Therefore, before to enter into a long-distance relationship, you need to ask yourself: “And if in my power to overcome this illusion?”.