Creating a family, you need to understand that the fireworks feelings will not last a lifetime. But we can and should do to take care of their feelings to our loved ones. And then we get a high reward. Many experts say that true love comes in ten or fifteen years, quiet, calm, family, and this relationship is high. Sometimes have to wait longer, different.
Senses dulled its edge in the pregnancy of a woman when she is especially emotionally sensitive, irritable, Moody and short-tempered.
When a child is born. For a woman, he immediately goes for the lead role in the family, and her husband at secondary; male, feel odd, that should not be, in any case, how would the child was not expensive and loved. My husband always has to come first for my wife.
When a woman sits with young children at home, her husband moving service, and the wife loses externally and internally that female environment, which is constantly before the eyes of her husband.
When man faces a crisis age, and he needed confirmation from the woman that he was the most. The same thing happens with women when men need confirmation that she is the very best.
A number of reasons.
But when the senses lose their acuteness, mostly household-based, then is a love relationship between a man and a woman. Why do you need to maintain in themselves and in each other the flame of love, sympathy, finding time for each other, to help each other in everything. If you are passionate about work, work in the creative business, it’s still impossible to be a workaholic, go to work, instead of human relations, even if there is a need to make money. To leave an important place to communicate with your loved ones, caring for them. And most importantly – try to pay attention, to acknowledge our appreciation of the other person, to arrange family holidays to introduce a family tradition to gather around the table to discuss pressing issues and learn to listen and hear each other.
How to keep love in marriage? Its openness, reflecting their feelings, forgiveness of injuries, the explanation of their actions, as each understands in his own way, the ability to listen and hear each other, to help in household chores, to maintain their appearance, to grow spiritually radomirov other.Love forgives much. And love all is forgiven. Proud nasty-justification of love.
You must endure a loved one, within reasonable limits. To prevent a quarrel. Not to give much importance to small differences in views on any topic. And in fact, because of that quarrel: not a tube wrapped, there is a glass left. You can quarrel, but you can easily discuss.
Will try to find a compromise with each other, not cause each other inconvenience and to warn, “This is my only drawback, but everything else is dignity.” Just kidding, of course. Translate to humor some apparently very serious stuff. If you love, you will do so to a loved one not to offend, not to offend, not to humiliate. Learn to ask for forgiveness, learn to forgive, not to attach particular importance to trifles, if basically all is well.
My main advice: try to speak and not to blame. The more often people will talk about their feelings among themselves, the less of the insults, the screaming, the explosions of anger. What do women do more often? Suffer, suffer, suffer then explode, there is a family scandal. On the one hand, let off steam, on the other already offended by their accusations, the same is done with men. Talk about their feelings and to forgive, to let go of resentments. And then, as a new scandal, just like a train thrown all that has accumulated.
And ask for forgiveness from each other for all their feelings (angry, angry), then that relationship work out. Spend time together, discuss and grow.
Something I often face in their psychotherapeutic work, it’s – Unforgiven offenses.
Any conflict arises for one reason, when one is waiting for something from the other, and the other expectations are not justified. Whoever expected an unjustified expectation of causing offense, who has not justified expectations, – sense of guilt. And of both guilt and resentment causes a feeling of anger. The feeling of anger appears appropriate words and is discharged at odds, in conflict, in principle, one and the same.
For example, the wife waiting for her husband to work at 6 PM and he comes at 8. Met a classmate, went to the cafe, sat and talked, he came fun.. Instead of listening to the explanations from irritation. Mood and the relationship ruined.
Or on birthday wife wants husband flowers presented, and he brings a ring. What? The result – unjustified expectations, no flowers, rings are not enough. Woman happy with the ring, but colors do not. If you accept a gift from a loved one, and that is enough, then joy, but if you expect something and do not receive, hence the conflict, either external, when voicing their discontent, either internal, when you do not show their displeasure.
Knowing her love will not expect him to uncharacteristic acts result not to be offended.
Often that’s why there are weird attitude that one is silent and the other does not know. There are a ridiculous divorce. I do not believe that they are not totally random, something still brings to them. For example, a wife communicates with her friends, and her husband doesn’t like it, he wants her to have paid attention to him, sat with him, talked, dinner, fed. And she’s with her friends, sometimes does not cook him dinner or go for a walk. He comes, she isn’t home. Once said, “When will you stop with friends to chat, when my husband attention is given!”, then filed for divorce, they divorced. When they began to dismantle this relationship, ask him:
– I did not pay attention.
– And you told her?
I’m her friend said, tell her doobschaetes husband lose.
– You were jealous?
– I was angry, very angry, offended that she’s not paying attention to me.
– It was said?
– Why did you filed for divorce?
– That she realized she was wrong. I really love her son and hear her at night crying.
These neprorabotannye feelings: he loves her, she loves him, his lack of communication with her, and she’s probably something else that lead to such absurd divorce suffer when adults and especially children.
Time, it is fleeting, and so sorry for every moment. Well, when a loved one is near, and it is possible to communicate with him. In family life there are certain crises there are signs of these crises, crises occur after a certain number of years. Expectations change over time. In the honeymoon period expected flowers, courtship, invitation to a restaurant, tickets to movies, concerts. After living two to three years, has a wife expect husband the garbage will make a child sit or store goes, the floor vacuumed, lessons check. From male to female also raises your expectations: pies to bake, a delicious lunch, cooked, cleaned, working woman is difficult to do everything alone. But when a family is mutual understanding, help each other, then everyday problems do not violate the relationship. And when you expect the subservient one and the other, when they should apply, clean, then complicated.